Okay, so this entry is one that I'm literally copy-pasting from something I'd written a really long time ago. It was a college assignment and we needed to fill space in the newspaper we were bringing out.
It's sort of like an agony-aunt column: Where my dog plays counsellor. (Not your best shoulder to cry on, you'd think!) Here goes :
Toffee with Trophy.
If you have a problem with your Boss, your boyfriend or even yourself, come seek the advice of the world’s smartest Dog, Trophy. He’ll counsel you and rest assured your life will be as simple as Dog’s!
***********************
Dear Trophy,
There is this girl in my class who I really fancy. We’ve been studying together for the past 2 yrs and I’ve had a crush on her for the last 1 yr. The problem is that she already has a boyfriend, and besides the fact that he’s really tall, I feel I’m better than him in every other way. I even get better marks than him. Please advice on how I should go about wooing this girl though she already has a boyfriend.
Really confused.
Dear Really Confused,
You amaze me! First of all, you’ve had a crush on this girl for the last 1yr. And now suddenly light dawns, so you want to ask her out?! Buddy, take my advice and back off. After all, whatever else you must be better at than her boyfriend, at the end of the day, he’s still taller!! And take it from a dog who’s been chased by bigger ones, you don’t want to get on their wrong side. Take heart, look for greener pastures: There're lots of bones out there!
Trophy,
I have a very crazy problem. There’s this one acquaintance of mine who really annoys me. Whenever I meet her, she’s either bragging or bitching! I don’t know what’s wrong with her but I think she suffers from some kind of problem like OBD (Obsessive-Bragging-Disorder) or something. How do I let her know that what she does really annoys me without being very rude?
Bugged.
Dear Bugged,
You poor, poor thing. But don’t worry; we have specimens like that in Doggie world too: Who bark their heads off and won't let us hear the end of it! Anyway, regarding your acquaintance, why don’t you try bragging in front of her as well? Or if that doesn’t work, she’ll have to be given less subtle hints. Two of these, are my personal favourites: Scratch your ear while she's talking or yawn pointedly in her face. (Works like magic with the humans I know!)
Dear Trophy,
My best friend and me have a huge crush on the same guy. We stay in the same neighborhood and the guy in question stays in the same colony too. The thing is, he’s gotten to know of my feelings for him (but doesn't know yet that my friend likes him too) and I’ve noticed a change in his behavior towards me. We’ve also met a few times alone. Very honestly, I’m on cloud nine cause of the attention I’m receiving from the hunk and I can't bear the thought of losing him, but at the same time I don’t want to see my friend heart broken. What do I do?
Stumped.
Dear Stumped,
Place yourself in your best friend’s shoes. Would you want her to go out with the same guy you’ve been drooling about too? The answer in its purest form is No. Right? So my advice to you would be to forget about this guy as a prospective boyfriend. Sure someone’s heart’s going break. But you've got to be clear on where your loyalties lie. Wouldn’t you rather have a friend for life than stand a half chance with this guy? Some men can be Dogs but then again, Dogs make very good friends. If you like this guy so much, keep it to friendship and nothing more.
***********************
No comments:
Post a Comment