Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Attending Blessed Interviews.

That's it! I've had it with attending annoying job interviews! It's irritating to have to go say the same things over and over to a new set of people and be over-enthusiastic (about their company, like it's what you were born to do) zealous (about feeding in complaint forms all day), and convinced one can make a significant contribution to whatever the hell one's supposed to contribute to and be genuine about it. In the last 4 months, I may have attended half a dozen interviews and each has been worse and the outcomes more dreadful than the previous ones.
      First off, I have a major axe to grind with these Corporate companies. EVERYTHING about them is so intimidating, beginning from the phone interview each insists on. I know, and the person on the other side knows that we'd both be comfortable if we spoke in a language that doesn't scream 'Oh-we're-so-erudite'!!
      So yeah, maybe they work for a foreign firm, but does one HAVE to have a clipped accent and make use of words like 'proliferation', 'impediment' and 'furtherance'?!! What am I, a dictionary?! Till I figure the word going by the context, I've lost sight of the question. And asking them to repeat themselves is another sin! It's all very well in theory to ask them to please go over it again, but if you do it in practice, they're already putting you down for a retard.
     Then it's dealing with the volley of questions. They can range from the older-than-the-pyramids kind of questions like 'Can you tell us something about yourself?" to stuff that's as random as "How many barbers do you reckon there are in this city?"... Well, seeing as how I did NOT work in the Barber-shops counting industry, I couldn't really help my interviewer.
      Then there's also the dressing well, and ensuring that the posture in which you sit, shows just the right degree of eagerness. Too much, and your salary gets non-negotiable, too little and : "You're qualifications are impressive but we don't have an opening for your profile at the moment"
       I think going for an interview and emerging victorious is a dying art (It was pronounced brought dead in my case) But I'm not going to give up. So long as there are people who call me to their offices and get my expert opinion on how many bales of hair barber shops get rid of in a day, I'm going to find plenty use of my time.

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