Turning 24 had not been the most joyous occasion. I mean, for all intents and purposes I AM glad that I'm a year wiser, smarter and yada yada yada, but when you're a 24 year old unmarried girl in a house that would like to see their daughters married, (if not betrothed by this age) it kind of umm, spells trouble. But wait, by trouble, I don't mean like full fledged let's-get-our-daughter-married-to-the-next-Mr.Money bags trouble, but the lets-set-our-daughter-up-so-she'll-willingly-get-married-to-some Mr.Nice kind of trouble.
Now, as thoughtful as that it is, that my family wants to look out for me so much, it's not in the least bit amusing when you're dressed in your prettiest best making a lame conversation with a guy you don't know from adams. Worse still, is to have your folks (and the guys folks) listen in on the conversation, and pretend to not take note of every breath you take (Sort of puts Sting's song in perspective) ...So anyway, meeting with the guy, making small talk with his mother and sister, laughing at jokes I'd otherwise never crack a smile at, made me go into a sort of reverie after the whole (or)deal was over.
The very concept of arranged marriages, (till one is faced with it is oneself) is something we've all been brought up to accept as the norm in our society. But the problem lies is suddenly coming face to face with the idea that you're going to be spend the rest of your (un)blessed life with a guy you hardly know. Well of course, there's the oft used "But you can get to know each other before" and the like, but who decides how much we know of each other before we tie the knot?!!
Some how, I managed to convince my parents to allow me to look for "My Mister Right" on my own. I therefore signed up with one of the leading matrimonial sites of our country, and if I thought I was perturbed enough by the wrong sort in the real world... Boy, nothing had me prepared for what lay ahead in the virtual world!! ... These are some excerpts from profiles I've been sent alerts from, or by innocent individuals whose profiles I came across while looking for "my soul mate".
I don't mean to offend anyone with the bylines and God forbid you're one of the people with some of the horrendous descriptions given below. As for the rest: This is what you go through when you take your parents seriously by listening to them and not talking to boys enough. You end up having to sift through this!!!
"i am mera prabhu from india i know about myself
i want afair giral and brilliant"
(af(f)air giral? He doesn't need THIS website for a fling, surely?! )
"very cool and hot, want my partner help me in every matter...."
( What is he describing, the Hyderabadi weather?:P)
"i am a simple man want a wife i can do anything to want so i want want"
(....... And I want to want out!!)
"i like simple gujrati girls...... who loves me only........."
( Umm. How many does he want to marry?? )
"hi i am gaurav yadav i am teacher in computer software you meet me bay"
(Looks like someone has to enroll themselves in some etiquette classes)
" I AM VERY SILENT PERSON IN THE WORLD I THINK I AM IN THE"
(In the..? Process of not traumatizing us with the details, thankfully!)
"I AM VERY SIMPLE BOYS LOVE MY PARENT AND NAVER WHAT TO CHANGE MY SELF. I AM LOOKING FOR WHO CAN UNDERSTAND MY FELLING AND I ALSO."
( I think he suffers from multiple personality disorder. Don't you FELL the same way?)
"i am best friend of my partner"
(... He's found her already?!)
"I am very entaligans and my incame one laks my parsonal campany technical jobs"
( Uhh, he 'incame' and I'm 'out-going' )
"hi i am gauri. shankar this is samat Girls nda beutifull"
( I'm confused. Is he a girl or a guy and What is he describing?!!)
"I like a beautyfull girl & charming face.
This girl is working in a office."
( Looks like he knows where she works. He should call her sometime. )
"likes: pet, dating, tourism.. etc
dislikes: dose who criticizes the behind."
(Whose behind??!!)))))
"She should be fair and smart and without spectacles, without veesing problems."
( .... I don't think he'll get what he wants in the 'veesing' department. Anyone who takes a look at his photo won't stop wheezing. The horror!)
"who do wrong means wrong"
( And you did wrong in putting up your profile, buddy)
Things are difficult and Impossible before YOU meet me. Will you do marriage to me?
( I think not. Don't be difficult and impossible by even asking that..!!)
"Hi I am satya im looking for a girl who is carrying and understand my feelings."
(Carrying. Already?? I didn't know they came that progressive!)
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